OT: Dating Lessons

Things I am learning: It is much easier to tell someone that you are not in to them than for you to be told the same.

I'm getting a tad ahead of myself.

I haven't exactly been told that last Friday's date isn't open to asking me out to a place where we can actually hear each other, but I haven't heard anything on the contrary, either. This, honestly, drives me nuts. I am a creature of communication. If you like me, I want to know about it. If you don't like me, well, I want to know about that, too, so I can cross you off my list and move on (even though, in this case, that would really suck).

In my experience, boys are simple. They don't play games or strategize their next move or premeditate...anything. If they want to get to know you better, they will. If they don't....they will pay their attention elsewhere and you will know it. You can take them at face value.

This theory, of course, could be a total load of BS as I am not a boy and really have no idea what I'm talking about. But, I think it's pretty accurate, nonetheless. If a guy likes you, he's going to make the effort.

It seems my first dating lesson was how to tell your date that you are not interested in seeing him again. This was tough. I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings, but I was advised that it is better to be honest than to lead a guy on because you are afraid of being "mean". So I was. Honest.

My second lesson (possibly) is how to accept that you may have an interest in your date while they do not echo those feelings. Sometimes, it's hard to take your own advice (see: previous post about being awesome and not worrying about if you're pretty/skinny/funny enough). It really never crossed my mind, up until this point, that I could be interested in someone and they wouldn't be interested back. I realize that this sounds completely conceded, but I don't mean it that way. It just really never registered that this dating dance we do is two, not one, sided.

It's registered now.

The part that blows is your mutual friend telling you "you are his type". That how can he not be attracted to you. And you're thinking, ok, we did a pretty good job of talking to one another and we had x, y, and z in common. And you think it went well.

But that's just it -- you think it went well and you're only one side of the equation. You only get half the votes.

Just a tidbit of advice to the men out there -- we are the same as you. If you're dating a woman and she's not your type or you don't see it going anywhere -- let her know! Nothing sucks more than waiting around and dwelling or, worse, being led on.

Again, I may be jumping ahead of myself. Maybe so, but maybe not. We will see.