OT: Logic and TV Cables

I like to think that I am a very logical, level-headed person. I pride myself with being able to look at a story or argument from every different angle and with being un-biased and open to changes of opinion (as long as you can successfully explain to me why yours is better, of course). I like to debate things. I like the mental challenge.

I have found that, along with being these things, above, I can also be cold. I think that may come as a shock or downright untruth to some people, but it is correct. The nasty side of being so logical is that you can "logic" yourself out of (or in to) a lot of situations. For example, I believe that I am taking this breakup (see: previous post) so well because I am able to logic away my feelings. I am aware that this is unhealthy. I will, most likely, continue to do it anyway.

It is easy to be put-together when I am busy. Especially when I am responsible for 100% of the things I used to only be responsible for 60% of (notice I say 60 and not 50). It's the times I am not busy that get me. The logic creeps away and the truth seeps into its place.

Yes, it is difficult being left behind. It is difficult doing everything myself. It is difficult being alone when I thought I would be buying a house and getting married (talk about a 180). It is especially difficult being sad when my other half ex-boyfriend is happily gallivanting about the town with zero responsibility while all I want to do is watch movies in my yoga pants with my dog. It is hard to tell myself I didn't do anything wrong (even though it's true and I shouldn't even have to logic myself out of that one). It is hard being alone.

But it is also okay.

Today it is especially okay because I hooked up my tv to my DVD player with those ridiculously expensive fancy blue, green and red cables (which I am told are called "'component cables"). I am aware this is easy and simple and that it didn't take much effort to drive 5 minutes down the road to Staples to purchase them. You see, it doesn't matter that it was easy. What matters is that I did it myself. I did something myself which I would have passed off before, you know, because electronics are on the boys' side of the responsibility chart (I am going to get so much feminist hate for this, but it's true).

I guess there's just one side of the responsibility chart now: mine. And I think I'm okay with that.